During the month of March, coalition members CantoMundo and Letras Latinas are partnering to present guest posts by CM fellows at Letras Latinas Blog that will include essays, creative non-fiction, micro reviews and dialogues between writers. This year’s theme borrows a line from U.S. Poet Laureate Juan Felipe Herrera’s poem, “Borderbus.” Please return to this space and enjoy all the pieces in the series, and leave comments to participate in the dialogue.
Barbara Curiel, CantoMundo
Francisco Aragón, Letras Latinas
Migration Memory
by Juan J. Morales
*
My parents went to Spanish services at a
church near the corner of Conejos and Colorado Avenue in Colorado Springs when
they first met. Mom described living in her sister’s basement with my brother and sister, and my father
talked about his house near Ft. Carson. In the version I knew, they married
after knowing each other three weeks. In their wedding photo, they toast in my
aunt’s kitchen with plastic champagne glasses in front of the cake that my mom
made. They’re smiling, mom in her pink dress and my father in a brown plaid
suit. When I ask my mom if this is true, she laughs, “Of course not. It was
longer than that.” With their 38th anniversary approaching, I’m left asking
where did I get the three-week version of their story?
*
My mother was twenty when she left
Ecuador. She spent a decade in Panama and then moved my brother and sister to
Colorado. She sorted microchips for a computer company for minimum wage,
shredding up her hands every day. Mom spent little and saved for the three of
them. She understates her winding path to US citizenship, similar to so many
other hard workers that add to our country’s rich tapestry by stepping past invisible
borders we’re not supposed to cross. During
our last family visit to Ecuador, we went to la línea equinoccial, the monument to the
Equator, where we stood in the northern and southern hemispheres at the same
time. We took photos crossing back and forth and then balanced on the yellow
line. It cost around $3 to enter the monument, but at least you can cross it
without consequence.
*
My father enlisted in the US Army at 17
or 18, knowing full well he’d fight in Korea. It was 1952 when he left Puerto
Rico. My father didn’t speak English yet. In the three decades he served, dad
earned two Purple Hearts (one for a grenade that temporarily paralyzed him and
a bullet clean through the shoulder). He rose to the rank of Sargent Major and
traveled the world until stationed in Colorado Springs, where he eventually
retired.
My
mistake whenever I tell my father’s story: I claim the military as my
father’s pathway to citizenship, waking up to
the fact he was a US citizen all along. I omit Puerto Rico as the US commonwealth in the Caribbean, the ambiguous
island that isn’t a state or an independent country.
Just like his home island, my father had to work harder to learn and to speak
the right language, and he had to suffer most of his adult life to prove that
the effects of PTSD and Agent Orange were real. He still never complains. There
is guilt I didn’t make these connections sooner, but I have always been proud
of his sacrifices. I see it in his beat-up black hat with the Korea and Vietnam
Veteran patch. Soldiers in uniform always look at his hat and then thank my dad
for his service whenever they see him in public.
*
I was born in Iowa City, Iowa. My mom
mentions a memory of how tall the corn grew. And that’s about it. We don’t have
connections there, beyond my father rooting for the Hawkeyes and my mother
telling me the hospital’s name there was Mercy. Instead of the Midwest, I
gravitate toward my parents’ migration stories and what places they call home.
Sometimes the gaps in my parents’ stories defeat
me. I can’t keep the dates right. The math doesn’t add up to a cogent timeline. My want is to braid the
two stories and to avoid losing a single strand of them, which cannot be done.
Some stories mom and dad just can’t remember. Some
questions they won’t answer. Others I don’t know to ask yet. I try to get out of the way and let their
stories unfold again, the way that I heard them over the years, accepting the
unavoidable memory fog that wraps around us all.
*
Juan Morales was born in the U.S. to an Ecuadorian
mother and a Puerto Rican father. He is the author of the poetry collections
The Siren World, Friday and the Year That Followed, and
the forthcoming, The Handyman's Guide to End Times in early 2018. He is a
CantoMundo Fellow, The Editor of Pilgrimage Magazine, and an Associate
Professor of English at Colorado State University-Pueblo, where he directs the
Creative Writing Program and curates the SoCo Reading Series. His poems have
recently appeared in Pank, Post Road, The Malpais Review, Green Mountains
Review, Terrain.org, and others.*
2 comments:
A lovely, honest essay, Juan. It reminded my of a line by Marianne Boruch--"Everything begins by being dreamt."
Really great essay. I love that you included photographs. I also like that some stories are surrounded by fog of memories--that's the way it really is.
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